Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a friend as:
1. one attached to another by affection or esteem
or:
2. one that is not hostile
Friendship. The pursuit of this feeling begins during early childhood years and continues into adulthood. It never really ceases and is ever evolving. Children seek others with similar personalities, hobbies, or goals in which to form this special bond. Adults become friends with people who may have helped them out, hoping down the road that perhaps the favor can be returned. We have friends so that we have people to go to and to feel comfortable discussing anything with. We want friends so that we have someone to fall back on during hard times, or to which we may offer our own shoulder to lean on. It is with great disappointment that I notice that true friends are rare today.
Think for one minute of all of the sets of friends you can think of. Try to come up with pairs instead of groups. Also, make it sets of people who you know, not just two random people who you happen to know are friends with each other. Do you see these two people as fulfilling the definition given above of friendship? The answer, sadly enough, is probably no.
I am raising this argument because I am honestly tired of what I notice throughout society. It is seen mainly in girls, but there are plenty of guys that fall under this umbrella. People today refer to many peers as their friends, but in terms of the definition of a friend, they are not friends at all. I call them “friends.” There are so many examples of this and I know every single person knows what I am talking about. Everyone knows the girl who is “best friends” with some other girl, but all they do is run their mouths about each other when they aren’t together. I can name probably 20 pairs of girls that do this, easily. I have no reason for why it occurs, nor do I find it reasonable.
You have girls that are hypocritical of each other, with one going into detail about a habit that the other one has while carrying out that same habit in her life. You have the guy who is “brothers” with another guy, yet talks down on him every chance that he gets. You have the people who trash every single aspect of their “friend’s” life. Their relationship is stupid, they talk to a guy that the other one likes, their hair sucks today, they are annoying. The list goes on and on.
What I am getting at is that it is sad that this occurs today. This endless world of gossip involving anyone and everyone is absolutely ridiculous. Why do people bother calling people their friends when in reality, the people are only their friends when it is convenient. If a girl is home alone one night, they might call that friend to figure out something to do but if that girl is going out, she isn’t going to invite that other girl. Instead, she is going to talk about that girl with all of the other girls that she is with. People today have an opinion about everyone in life, don’t care who hears that opinion stated, and could care less if the person finds out about that opinion. This happens everyday.
As stated above, I have no real direction for this. I am not liberating for worldwide change, I am merely noticing a trend. If people strive to really have people be their friends, why do they not uphold the very essence of what it means to be that friend? I don’t know. Thinking about it now, I can name only one pair of friends that are girls that have never spoken badly about one another, that being Megan Bailey and Melissa Schreyer. Jim and I are the equivalent for guys. We were not friends due to a stupid falling out and didn’t speak from August of 2008 until March of 2009. During this time, I did not talk badly about Jim, not one word. People asked about him and I literally said “I don’t want to discuss it” and I left it at that. I didn’t see it as an opportunity to trash him and his lifestyle choices. I am not saying we are perfect, but when it comes to actually being someone’s friend, we fit the bill.
Just wanted to get you thinking. Who in your life is your friend and who is merely your “friend?”
