We Want You!

As is usually the way things work out for us, the Yellow Team is in desperate need of female players for the upcoming Fall Co-ed league. The majority of our female players are leaving for school or have binds in their schedule due to schooling locally, so we need to fill these voids. We have all defensive positions available so depending on your wants, we can make arrangements. The fee this season will be substantially less than the summer league because we do not have to repay fees for insurance and ASA. The fee will fall between $30.00 and $50.00, after I receive the team fee and then input my own money, as I normally do. You’ll also receive a jersey with the number of your choice, as long as that number is available, provided by the team free of charge. Please contact me via text or Facebook if you are interested. The season begins the weekend after Labor Day, so we have a little bit of time. Thank you.

Uncle Sam agrees with me when I say we want you.

Emergence

I ran into this video before the start of this past summer softball season, and it immediately stuck with me. Since really the end of last summer league, co-captain and best friend Jim and I had talked about changing the culture of our softball team. In years past, our team had been looked down upon, for various reasons, some deserved, some not. My feeling, ultimately, is that we changed this league, maybe not so much for the other teams, but we opened a door that had not been approached before. I began my career in this league at the age of 19 playing under another captain. At that time I was an anomaly, I’ll never forget my very first at bat, the opposing pitcher stopped before throwing the first pitch of the game (I led off) and said “Is he old enough to be playing?” Keep in mind the league was an 18+ league and I was 19, perfectly permitted to be playing. I look back on that incident and it is easy to see why our team was received in such a bad way the next year when Jim and I formed what now comprises the “Yellow Team.”

That at bat, but more so the pitcher’s response, showed just how much the league was not used to having such young players, even though they were permitted to play. When Jim and I did form our team the next year, summer of 2009, the average age of our starting roster (on Opening Day) was 20.45, while the rest of the teams in the league probably sported an average age in the upper 20′s or lower to mid 30′s. This was a huge undertaking for a league that had not seen, in my opinion and knowledge of following the league, such a large mass of youth flooding into the league. Even more surprising, all of us were on the same team, not spread around other rosters.

The reason for so much turmoil in our early years was that youth. The league saw us as cocky little kids who did more running at the mouth than actual softball playing. I’m not going to say that we didn’t incite other players and teams sometimes, because we sure as hell did, but other teams did try to bait us into verbal arguments, which some of our players bit on. This trend continued for the rest of that summer season, the following fall season, and most of last summer season as well, with a few periods of calm. After last season, we decided to change the culture and begin a team based on respect, for opposing players, teammates, and the game in general. We wanted players who riddled the field with ability, drive, and respect, not curse words and insults. It didn’t take long, or really much effort, to pull this off.

The first order of business, and it was meant as no disrespect to anyone, was to have the “C” for captainship embroidered onto our jerseys, so that there was no dispute as to who led the team. Jim and I have struggled mightily, me especially because I hate to let people down or to make decisions that are excruciatingly difficult to make, to be both captains and teammates. I am always striving to be the best teammate and that is my ultimate goal. I do not show up every gameday looking to be the best player on the team or on the field, I am not in this game for personal glory or accolades, or to say that anyone is of less value to our team than anyone else, and I truly hope that trickles down to everyone. We chose to have the “C” on our jersey mainly because I think it looks cool on NFL jerseys and such, but also because we have had players in the past challenge our leadership role, even attending captain’s meeting and speaking on behalf of us, and that drove a wedge between the team and rubbed some teammates the wrong way. We also took a more verbal role in leadership, taking individual time to talk to and truly get to know the players that were on our team, not just saying “hi” to them every time we graced the same field. This was what brought our team together, and was also our toughest challenge. We had to develop that relationship with each player, and then have them develop it with one another. It acutely began last season, and blossomed this season. And it is this season that I want to talk about, for it was the best season I have ever had in terms of fun and just being around the game, and it was the season that put our team on a course for the better.

Working with a younger team this year (average age of starting roster on Opening Day was 18.36) we came into the season with all of the right parts: defined leadership, not only from our captains but also from players stepping up, a new found team respect, and players with a lot to prove on the field.

Our final  regular season record was 1-11, but that record was in no way indicative of how well we played. Many of our losses were not blowouts as they had been in the past, but were respectable losses by 2-7 runs. We held the lead against every team at one point or another this season, sometimes storming out of the gate to an early lead, sometimes gripping to one late, but we were competitive, and that was a huge leap for us. We had many more firsts this season including: the first ever home run by a female player, the first time that Jim and I took the field without Clayton in our 4 years as captains, the first time a girl ever played shortstop, which is in my opinion the second most difficult position on the field to play, our first ever win against a top-tier team, which we did in walk-off fashion, and our first ever season where the other teams spoke to us as fellow players, not enemies. That last one is in my opinion the single most important. For once, we fit in.

Ray’s emergence as a true leader and preacher of full team commitment. Tina’s increased verbal presence and willingness to hit anywhere in the lineup and play anywhere on the field defensively without complaint. My comeback as an outfielder and continued drive to promote a team atmosphere. Katelyn’s falling into our lap and being one of the best hitters we’ve ever had, period. Jim’s continued rise out of his early career slump and emergence as a true captain, not a lower level leader. Cuc’s energy and never ending support. Rob’s blasting onto the scene to cap a walk off win against the Knights with a home run, as well as his solid defensive play. Kaitlin’s amazing improvement as a defensive first basegirl (as she always corrects me to say). Tyler’s speed. Amanda’s never ending commitment to improvement, as well as her constant increase in being a verbal presence, both at practice and games. Joe’s ability to join us and pitch at a very good level, as well as providing timely hitting. Clayton’s final games and sad departure, but ever willingness to stay up to date on what went on with the team (he called me before and after every game). Megan’s completed knowledge of the score book, her constant support for the team,  including many new players she had never met before, the time she put in to help us practice, and her commitment to being there for every single practice and game.

This above list is my summary of what each player brought to the table and contributed for us to become what we are now. Are we in any way done with our journey, no, but we have created the firm foundation that we need to begin our quest of continued improvement and ultimately (hopefully) be champions one day. As the song says “…this is the start of something…” and for us, it truly is. We’re still “just a bunch of kids” but by playing the game the right way and sticking together, we are making headway. Now only if the 5 weeks before fall league begins could be fast forwarded through…

Worth a thousand words (miss you Clayton)

Removal and Clarification

I chose to remove the post regarding Kaylee because, quite simply, no one knows her the way that I did and no one except me saw our relationship from my point of view. While her and I did have a falling out, I do not want my opinion or feelings of Kaylee to become others’, especially if they do not know her, or our full story. I had a silence to break and knew it was time to do so, I said all that I had to say because I wanted my side known and I wanted to get it off of my chest. My friends support me, and I am ever-thankful of that, but like I said, I do not want them to see that I had a bad time and immediately dislike Kaylee for that. I am extremely favorable of getting to truly know someone before passing any judgement on them, and that is how I want this situation handled. I have an opinion of her, and I always will if asked, but I don’t want my opinion to be mimicked, I want people to develop their own, or none at all.

Additionally, I have all but put that relationship to bed and I would appreciate, in the kindest way of asking, that my friends and people around me no longer ask about Kaylee or bring her up in conversation to me. I have closed that chapter of my life and regardless of how I feel about it, I don’t want to discuss it any more. If I am asked, I will simply say “I don’t want to discuss it.” The entire ordeal took a toll on me, one bigger than maybe I expected, and I have finally overcome all of the lingering effects and emotional attachments to realize that I was over it awhile ago. Kaylee has moved on and I remain lonely, and that is how life is currently.

Not everyone, however, is going to receive vindication for me removing the post. I want to reiterate that I never attempted to or committed to sleeping with Cody and I want that to be known, once again. I mentioned in the other post that I had never heard rumors about myself, and this was really the very first one that I heard. To make myself clear: I did not sleep with Cody. I did not text Cody asking to sleep with her. I did not think about sleeping with Cody. I am in no way attracted to Cody. I did not pass GO. I did not collect $200.00. Thank you.

My Thanks

Marilyn Ziegler. Bernita Bailey. Mary Jackson. Paula Holmes. Kate Montero. Karen Brooks. Terry Schreyer. Linda DeVries. Karen Penney. Debra Travis.

As the above list shows, I have had a lot of wonderful women to call “mom” over the years. It has been well documented that my childhood was a tumultuous one, and I often found myself at my friends’ houses more often than my own. In different stages and at different times, I was taken care of or helped out by these individuals. Some have helped or aided more than others, some have known me for nearly my entire life, some only for the past few years, but I want to recognize them all equally, because I would not be nearly the person I am today without their influence.

I am currently watching a video that makes me tear every time I watch it, because the words used speak for me, maybe better than I ever could. They show my thankfulness and unrelenting acknowledgement for these ten women.

I know that I can never truly pay back these women for what they have done for me, regardless of what each has contributed and how long they were around. I can only continue to lead my life in the way that I have, in presenting myself as the youth that they saw grow up before them. I know that their positive influence will continue to shine through, and I try to be the best human being that I can be. I don’t have enough words or nearly enough time in my life to discuss my gratitude, so all I can offer is a simple “Thank You.” Happy Mother’s Day, to you guys and all moms out there <3

With nothing else to write, I’d like to leave you with the video.

Guess Who?

Writing, for me, is something I have missed very much in my life lately. For the longest time, and even currently, it is my way of doing many things at once. I can express myself, the true me, the me I want everyone to see. It also allows everyone who reads these words to have a portal into my life, no matter how private the subject may be. I have had a lot going on lately, really for the past year, that has taken up my time and derailed me from writing on this website, one that I have a deep passion for. I want to get back into the swing of writing and have a few topics to cover in upcoming days as time becomes available to sit down and type away.

For those who assume there are things I will be covering, I’m sorry to let you down. I will not in writing, after long consideration, respond to anything Kaylee says about me. I am not going to burden myself and bore the general public with responses and retorts to the salvos she continues to fire at me to whoever will listen. She emailed me tonight (without being responded to, as usual) and said “Until then ill continue to give you a bad name and tell the story to anyone who asks…” It is obvious to me that she is going to lead a crusade to bash me to whoever will listen, and that is fine. I do not understand why she is using so much effort and time to do this, nor do I know how long she will continue to do so before her age and her maturity level are equal, but that is not for me to worry about. I’m an adult and have a life to lead. I have a career to pursue, a job to keep advancing in, and a group of people who need me to continue being me for them, and I intend to. I have a softball season coming up in a few weeks that I am extremely excited for and have put a lot of work, time, effort, and money into. I have my morals and my rigid personality intact, and that will continue to be the way things are. I’m not going to be brought down or belittled by someone who is in no position to judge me and who can in no way dictate the rest of my life.

I plan on writing on a regular basis now, and have time to do just that. I want to also start a separate heading for softball, and include my thoughts and advancement about the team, as well as possibly some statistics. I look forward to doing that. I look forward to once again diving deep into my writing and making it a consistent task.

-Rob

Friends?

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a friend as:

1.  one attached to another by affection or esteem

or:

2.  one that is not hostile

Friendship. The pursuit of this feeling begins during early childhood years and continues into adulthood. It never really ceases and is ever evolving. Children seek others with similar personalities, hobbies, or goals in which to form this special bond. Adults become friends with people who may have helped them out, hoping down the road that perhaps the favor can be returned. We have friends so that we have people to go to and to feel comfortable discussing anything with. We want friends so that we have someone to fall back on during hard times, or to which we may offer our own shoulder to lean on. It is with great disappointment that I notice that true friends are rare today.

Think for one minute of all of the sets of friends you can think of. Try to come up with pairs instead of groups. Also, make it sets of people who you know, not just two random people who you happen to know are friends with each other. Do you see these two people as fulfilling the definition given above of friendship? The answer, sadly enough, is probably no.

I am raising this argument because I am honestly tired of what I notice throughout society. It is seen mainly in girls, but there are plenty of guys that fall under this umbrella. People today refer to many peers as their friends, but in terms of the definition of a friend, they are not friends at all. I call them “friends.” There are so many examples of this and I know every single person knows what I am talking about. Everyone knows the girl who is “best friends” with some other girl, but all they do is run their mouths about each other when they aren’t together. I can name probably 20 pairs of girls that do this, easily. I have no reason for why it occurs, nor do I find it reasonable.

You have girls that are hypocritical of each other, with one going into detail about a habit that the other one has while carrying out that same habit in her life. You have the guy who is “brothers” with another guy, yet talks down on him every chance that he gets. You have the people who trash every single aspect of their “friend’s” life. Their relationship is stupid, they talk to a guy that the other one likes, their hair sucks today, they are annoying. The list goes on and on.

What I am getting at is that it is sad that this occurs today. This endless world of gossip involving anyone and everyone is absolutely ridiculous. Why do people bother calling people their friends when in reality, the people are only their friends when it is convenient. If a girl is home alone one night, they might call that friend to figure out something to do but if that girl is going out, she isn’t going to invite that other girl. Instead, she is going to talk about that girl with all of the other girls that she is with. People today have an opinion about everyone in life, don’t care who hears that opinion stated, and could care less if the person finds out about that opinion. This happens everyday.

As stated above, I have no real direction for this. I am not liberating for worldwide change, I am merely noticing a trend. If people strive to really have people be their friends, why do they not uphold the very essence of what it means to be that friend? I don’t know. Thinking about it now, I can name only one pair of friends that are girls that have never spoken badly about one another, that being Megan Bailey and Melissa Schreyer. Jim and I are the equivalent for guys. We were not friends due to a stupid falling out and didn’t speak from August of 2008 until March of 2009. During this time, I did not talk badly about Jim, not one word. People asked about him and I literally said “I don’t want to discuss it” and I left it at that. I didn’t see it as an opportunity to trash him and his lifestyle choices. I am not saying we are perfect, but when it comes to actually being someone’s friend, we fit the bill.

Just wanted to get you thinking. Who in your life is your friend and who is merely your “friend?”

Switcheroo?

I am often asked “Would you ever grow your hair out?” and my answer is always the same, “No, I have had it this short since 9th grade and don’t anticipate changing it.” I do sometimes think if I did choose to grow it out, what style I would model it into. Would I grow it real long or just long enough so I maybe had some bangs? Hmm. I don’t really know, I just ponder it sometimes. This pondering has led me to derive a way to decide what path I could possibly take with my hair. I am incorporating facial hair as well, because I am always looking for a new style of that (although my current one in my favorite.) I am creating this poll to see where viewers think I should go with my hair/facial hair combo. I am including pictures of the styles (two Jackman pictures to show different angles, hard to find one that is really good) I like so you can see roughly what I would change mine to. Keep in mind this does not mean I am going to change my style to the winning vote getter, I am just gathering an idea. Here are the choices in a slideshow:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

So after seeing them, if I had to change my style, what should I go with?

This Me?

Conceited: an exaggerated opinion of one’s own ability, etc. (The New American Webster Handy College Dictionary)

Conceited: self-centered, earth revolves around you, everything has to be your way, snobby, bitchy, annoying  (Urban Dictionary)

Ah, yet another criticism that I have heard about myself. As you’ve figured out by the above definition, some people think that I am conceited. I don’t hear it that often, but I have heard it in the past, just enough to make me think about it. I chose to comment on this criticism separate from the others that I covered in my earlier post. I handled it this way for a few reasons, the main one being the fact that the other rumors were completely negative, while this one is not as hurtful, or really hurtful at all for that matter. The other three were shots at my lifestyle and morals, being called conceited just makes me think about it enough to sit here writing this. And write I shall.

Ever since I was very young, I have lived an athletic lifestyle. Every day after school during my kindergarten and elementary years I would go right outside and play a sport. Basketball, soccer, football, wiffleball, and kickball were the most popular choices, but I played others too. The teams were always the same: Marcus Jackson and my brother Matt versus my other brother Ray and I. The competition was always very high and sometimes we even argued and jawed at each other. As the four of us grew up together, we began to leave the friendly confines of our yard (our family lived downstairs, Marcus’s upstairs) and travel to places like down into the trailer park to the large field or, later, to Dover Pool to play baseball. When we went to these venues, the four of us teamed up to face rival competition. This was our lifestyle for the 13 years that we lived together.

During high school, I added to my athletic workload by doing more strenuous things such as running with the cross-country team during their practices and joining the football team (later leaving the team before the first game.) I went above and beyond in gym class, surpassing the basic workload. In 7th grade when my class was running the mile around the parking lot, I established that I was completing it noticeably faster than everyone else. I decided to not sit around after finishing, but keep running until the last person had finished. The first time I did this, in that 7th grade gym class, I ran 7 laps (2.5 miles) in the time it took the slowest person to run one mile (3 laps.) I made this a trend that I followed into high school and performed until I graduated.

During my stint with the football team and increasingly more when I entered college, I began to incorporate weight training into my life. I would train at Dutchess 3 times a week while going to the library after and before to take out books on weight lifting. I took pride in this research and put it to use during my sessions in the gym. When I transferred here to Oswego I changed my strategy from toning and strength gaining. Throughout it all, I still got my cardio in, wanting to maintain my running tempo and stamina. 

Additionally, throughout my life, I have always been an adamant cyclist, and still am to this very day. I participate in a bike marathon annually, but I don’t need to go into that, I have written about it already. I traveled everywhere via bike as a youth and as the years went on I began to travel further. It is now at  point where I want to go somewhere, I bike it, if it is within reason. I solve my boredom during the summer by going on long bike trips, simply to get away.

In case you were wondering, I am going somewhere with this and yes, it does apply to being called conceited. I am trying to show anyone reading this that being fit and healthy dominates my life. I strive to be in really good shape, but not for conceited reasons. I don’t do crunches or sit-ups thinking about who is going to see me shirtless. I don’t do bicep curls thinking about who will get to see my arms when they are flexed. I don’t run a five and a half minute mile hoping everyone on the treadmills to either side of me is looking. I don’t put shirtless pictures of myself up on Facebook to get extra attention, I get enough, for what it is worth. I take the pictures really to monitor my progress and have them as a reference. And yes, I display them, but I never put captions promoting myself or my physical appearance. I simply never have and never will.

There is, however, a fine line between being proud of something you have accomplished, and being conceited, and this is where people fall short when attempting to judge me. I am extremely proud of my physical condition and the shape that I am in, and I have every reason to be. Someone on Formspring in the past wrote something about everyone working out, and I didn’t have to show that I did. They went on to say that I thought my body was “so hot” and that I was so full of myself. I’ll respond with this. Not everyone works out and a large portion of the people who do, suck at it. Anyone can walk into a gym, do some exercises, and leave. Anyone can run on a treadmill for 20 minutes and leave. But I am not anyone, I am me. You are trying to make me feel bad because I not only work out, but I do it properly and have visible results. You’re not going to make me feel bad because I put in the work, the time, the attention, to being this fit. You’re not going to make me feel bad by calling me conceited, because you’re wrong, not to mention, anonymous. I’m not full of myself, I’m proud of myself. I bust my ASS to be in this physical shape, and I don’t care who you are, no one can take that away from me, no one. You don’t like my pictures, you jealous of them, then don’t look at my Facebook and mind your own business. Or work out yourself and improve your own shape, don’t sit around complaining about my pictures. I am in this shape and I only have myself to thank for it.

A girl recently said to me when I brought up the topic of people calling me conceited, “Sorry to say, but if I looked like Megan Fox, I would be proud of it and maybe display it.” Does a talented artist keep his paintings in a vault and never reveal them to anyone? I didn’t think so. ↓↓↓

 

Interesting Video on College Education and Murder

The link listed below is a video I came across today while aimlessly browsing the internet. It discusses the relation between college education and the increased chance that college graduates are to commit murder. Pretty interesting stuff. I like the part when they say “…these kids KNOW how to murder, thus are more likely to believe that they can get away with it.” Here’s the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g&feature=related

Truth (cont’d.)

As stated in my earlier post, I want to address rumors that have been spread about me. I want to address them because they are shots at my personal life and morals, and I cannot tolerate being painted in such a negative light. If the rumors were small, stupid things like “Rob is a jerk” or “Rob takes jokes too far” I wouldn’t care or even take time to respond to them, but they aren’t. They are things about my lifestyle, my relationship with my girlfriend, and alleged things I do or have done. I am not clearing the air so everyone can know my personal business, I am writing this piece so everyone that knows or wants to know my personal business, knows my actual personal business, not the bullshit that people like to spread, for apparently no reason whatsoever. So here we go:

1. “Rob cheats on his girlfriend”

To put it plainly, no, Rob does not cheat on his girlfriend. I have cheated one time in my entire life, when I was with Melissa in 2007, I kissed another girl. I feel that I have put this out there so many times. I honestly say it hurt me, maybe more so than it hurt Melissa herself. Here I was, this guy that hated cheating, never condoned it, and I had done it myself. Later on after we had gotten back together, Melissa and some of my closer friends would tell me that it was just one kiss, don’t worry about it, but that wasn’t how it was for me. I knew I had hurt her and thrown our relationship to the winds, if only for a short time. I remember saying to Melissa, and I’ll take this line with me forever, “Even though you have forgiven me, I will never forgive myself.” I was genuinely sorry for what I had done, and hated myself for having done it. I had slipped from my stance on relationships, got caught up in a moment, and risked everything for, essentially, nothing. Since then, I became the devoted boyfriend to Melissa for the remainder of our relationship and have been that away in every relationship since. I hate that somehow this rumor exists when I feel as if everyone should know me as the nice guy that I am. When I enter a relationship, the opportunity for other girls to sway me goes away. All around me I see it. At parties I go to and witness it occuring,  or hearing about it from my friends “oh so and so cheated on so and so,” I always get disgusted. I get that way because people these days treat relationships with their significant others as if they are expendable, but not me. The moment that Kaylee and I started dating, and to this very moment and beyond, I knew it was only going to be her in my life. I remember telling her earlier that no other girl has the ability to walk past me and make me double take, not one.

I hate even more when I am accused of cheating with girls that anyone that knows me KNOWS that I wouldn’t even touch. Without naming names, some of you probably know who the girl in question is, I can honestly say that nothing happened, and nothing ever will.

I have waited, really since Melissa and I broke up, to find someone to care about and move forward with. I have been messed with all summer and fall and into the winter by girls who want nothing more than to “hook up” but not date. That wasn’t what I was looking for, so they all got shut down. I did not wait so long to have this feeling to go “fuck it, let’s cheat.”

This may come across as bravado, but so be it. Kaylee offers me everything in a relationship that I could ask for and more, she truly does. I would never risk that to do one thing with another girl for a brief moment of time. Rob and cheater are not synonyms, and will never be.

2. “Rob does drugs and/or smokes cigarettes.”

Out of all of the rumors, perhaps it is this one that befuddled me the most. It confuses me because I feel that everyone knows I am against smoking, I speak out about it all the time. My brother and I grew up in a house in which both of our parents smoked cigarettes and our other brother and father smoked pot. We have been against this forever, I feel. I remember us being 11 and 14 and telling our mom that it was stupid that she smoked, and how she must love the idea of cancer striking her one day. She would always tell us to shut up and go away. Then our brother discovered marijuana and began doing that, to which we also told him to stop. We hated it, he smelled up our clothing with his habits, and we hated the smell of it. Our mom did laundry in her room and the clothing would be surrounded by cigarette smoke so much that it made the clothes smell just like it. So when she came into our rooms with the laundry with the clothing, we would sniff the articles, and throw them straight back into the dirty hamper. We never tolerated smoking of any sort, and never will. I graduated the D.A.R.E. program and have made their teachings my life.

I get into arguments with my friend Clayton all the time about his cigarette smoking habit. To be honest, I am worried for him later on down the road. Jim and I are always saying that he should quit, we truly care about him in that way. I’m not going to have my friend develop lung problems in 10 years, not if I can help it.

It is downright ridiculous for people to claim that I have done drugs, or smoked cigarettes. First off, what is their evidence? They have obviously never seen me doing such things, so what weight does their rumor hold? None. I do not surround myself with drug users as friends, and I certainly am not one myself.

3. “Rob has had sex with at least 10 girls.”; “Rob has had sex with 16 girls.”; “Rob is a player.”

Any normal guy would be glad to have that many notches on his belt, or to be able to claim such a large amount of women to his life resume, but I’m not any normal guy. Not by any means. I feel that everyone always wants to know what every guy’s “count” is. Like “oh how many girls has so and so slept with?” They like live to know, like they need the information for their personal records. I am actually offended that this rumor exists. I am bothered in every way, to be portrayed by some as this guy who just goes around sleeping with girls at such a high rate with no commitment to any one of them.

I can only defend myself in this rumor by “coming clean” so to speak. While my sexual life is extremely personal to me, I can put it out there for this piece with comfort. Plainly said, I give a shit about the girls I am with, and casual sex does not work for me, never has, and never will. My number is 3. I have had sex with 3 girls in my lifetime and I cared for each one of them to some degree. 2 out of those 3 I was in love with and the third I cared for enough to be comfortable with, but if the choice were mine, I would take that one back and make it 2. That is neither here nor there though. I am not going to sit here and throw names out, because it is irrelevant information. What’s important is that I put the truth out there and not have my morals tarnished.

Throughout time, and mostly this past summer, “hookup” chances arose for me that I could have taken, but I didn’t. To be completely honest, having casual sex is scary to me. It really is. I can’t bring myself to do it, regardless of who it is with. I’m a caring person, and only those that I care for share that physical connection with me, thus, the “list” so to speak, is a small one.

In summation, I just wanted to address these three main rumors that I have heard repeatedly about myself. I hate each and every one of them, and in no way want this fake side of me to be what people who don’t know me take in. I have always said that anyone that wants to know me can just ask a question about me and I will gladly answer it. I can understand that there are people who may dislike me for whatever reason, but to take a direction like the people who spread this rubbish is foolish. Whenever I hear a new rumor I bring it to Jim and Clayton and we all laugh. One of them always goes “Where do they GET this shit?” Those two know more about my personal life than anyone else, hell, they know the exact same amount that I do about my personal life. I am not saying everyone that meets me or already knows me has to know what they know, but at least know the truth.

I am not asking everyone on the face of this earth to like me, it isn’t going to happen. But I do ask that everyone get to know me before believing anything about me. Make your first impression of me one that is based on meeting me. Don’t make it based on what you may have heard.

……..or just make up a rumor about me.